Why being a mood reader is the only way to read well

in my very biased opinion....

Books are art more than entertainment. With TV shows we can pop something on and let our minds wander and even do the new and common thing of having other screens pulling our attention at the same time. With entertainment we want to be hooked instantly and slow burns are left for arthouse cinema. It has a lot to do with the fact that we’ve shrunk our attention spans by conditioning them to need constant dopamine hits; this is a whole other problem. Literature is not in the same category as a Netflix series. With literature we are required to give something of ourselves. We must show up, be devoted, be patient, be open. Often we take a lengthy journey with the author and literature requires us to offer a grace we don’t usually offer to any other form of media.

The online reading communities on social media, like Bookstagram, have revealed to me the way in which others read. I don’t know what they like to read but how they read. I have always been a mood reader, I cannot, no matter how hard I try read something that I don’t feel a strong invisible pull to read. This was problematic when I studied literature in university but now, I have no curriculum so I allow that little being inside me who picks the books (I picture a little moody elf making the choices here) have full control of what I read and when. This means I often bounce between genres and centuries, without rhyme or reason.

When I saw people online showing the stack of books they were to read in the upcoming year, I was baffled as to how they knew that they’d want to read those books. I know some people have the stack as a guide but there are a lot of readers who stick to this month after month. They have January reads, February reads, etc. Then they offer reviews, some good, some bad, and move on to the next like a never ending train, to reach a ridiculously high reading goal (reading goals are another thing I cannot understand the benefit of but that’s enough content for a whole other post). I’ve heard people say that big reading goals keeps them motivated to keep reading but reading isn’t something you should be forced to do because you need to reach a goal. The sense of achievement when it comes to reading is a strange thing. Sure, I felt proud when I read War and Peace and Ulysses because there was a time when I thought I wouldn't never be able to get through them but I don’t need a certain number of books to tell me I did a good job or to feel like I’ve fallen behind if I don’t reach it - I wonder what it is they have fallen behind?

Previously, it never really concerned me how these planned readers read. Recently though, I have been in a bit of a reading slump. I’d start book after book and put them back after a few pages because I wasn’t feeling it. I never blamed the book, it was 100% me. Eventually I found a book that hooked me. It was Orwells Essays. It’s common for me to gravitate to non-fiction when I am in a slump. But then it occurred to me, that the people who aren’t mood readers don’t do this. They just read what they prescribed to themselves. Which is fine, of course, but what happens if they are not “feeling” the book. Do they just keep going and then think it wasn’t a very good book? How many books have been read in the wrong mood and judged accordingly? Don’t ask why I was so alarmed by this but I was so concerned that people harshly judged great books because they read it at the wrong time.

Timing is everything with books. I have this weird thing where books find me at the exact moment that I need them. Literature is the best medicine in the world because it is medicine for the soul. I truly believe there are energies around books that pull us in to notice them at the point we need them most. Yes, this is very whimsical view of a reading life but reading is not entertainment for me, it is nourishment.

Okay, some of you might say, “well Lauren, I only read for entertainment” and sure, you are entitled to be entertained but it’s a lot of time to dedicate for something as arbitrary as entertainment. I am curious if the planned readers ever see themselves as the reason why they didn’t like a book. If you have to read something and you aren’t in the headspace for it, is the book still to blame? Unless a book is so poorly written that I’m cringing, I will never blame the book for me not liking it. Bad writing is one thing but if I don’t like a story or if I’m triggered by something, that is a me problem. For example, I hate A Little Life. It is a beautifully written book, but the content wrecked me. I read it over 10 years ago and I still feel my chest tighten when I think about it. A big part of me wishes I could unread it. But this is ALL ME, this is because I am way too sensitive towards the content. Not for one minute did I think this was a terrible book, it was me who was the problem in the equation. I wanted to love it because I absolutely loved Hanya Yanagihara’s writing. I just couldn’t, because I felt like I needed therapy after reading it. This is maybe a bad example because it is about content and not mood, but I have a better example. About 18 years ago I bought The Crimson Petal and The White by Michael Faber. I tried to read it when I bought it but I couldn’t get into it. I tried again a few months later and again a year after that to no avail. I then left it for a long while and forgot about it. One day, about 3 years after I bought it, I picked it up off my shelf and I fell straight in, I was so deeply invested in that book that I had an actual grieving experience when I finished it because I didn’t want it to end. This happened with In Search of Lost Time, and countless others. It’s currently happening with The Historian but I think that is fully fermented because I feel the pull to read it is strong.

The account that are run by planned readers are often followed by a lot of them also so I never have the guts to ask the question, ‘what happens if you don’t feel like any of those books?’ in case they think I’m crazy for letting my little reading elf decide for me. I am curious though, I want to understand how one can simply finish a book, and then pick up the next book at the top of the pile and keep reading. What if a book shifts something within you and then you need to go and read everything that author has written, or what if it disturbed you so much that you need to reread a comfort read? These are questions that may remain unanswered for me forever.

Look, my argument isn’t that every book is marvellous and the reader’s mood is always the problem, however I think the pressure we place on books has become unreasonable. We want them to win us over without having to offer any part of ourselves over to it. Reading has become a competitive sport and more about achievement than joy and expansion. I shouldn’t care what other people do but when it comes to books, I can’t help it.

I suppose there is no right or wrong way to read, but do we do the books and the authors justice if we read as if we are in an eating competition; gorging ourselves to win some prize reserved for people who read 500 books per year?